This is seriously long, but this one day was probably the highlight of our trip.

We’re in New Orleans right now.

But let’s talk about Birmingham, Alabama for a hot second. Margotmotherfuckingwade showed us an INCREDIBLE time. Her house was awesome, and not just because it was beautiful and had a sweet steam shower. Walking in the door, we were greeted by a zebra skin rug. In every room, there seemed to be at least one safari animal’s hide or head adorning the floor and walls. By the way, her mother shot all of them.

Margot brought us to the rock quarry of her family’s business. But it’s not just a rock quarry. There’s an old steel mill there that was built in the 1800s, but went out of usage around 1980. Margot took us to explore the massive structures. It was incredible to see the vines overtaking the cracked and rusted metal, with trees growing on the old platforms several stories up. Many of the floors had fallen out, and slabs of concrete were dangling from delicate strips of eroded steel. In one building (with a sign out front warning of the cancer hazard – authorized personnel only) we found a room that had served as someone’s living quarters. There was a Coke can and a bottle of Pepto Bismol from 1982. I’ll have you know the Pepto looked as fresh and pink as any bottle you would buy from a store today. That shit is like Twinkies, apparently. The steel mill’s new usage? Art commune. Hell. Yes.

Then, Margot tells us she’s bringing us to her grandmother’s house. Margot stops in the driveway in front of a fallen tree, so I stop my car and prepare to get out to help her move it. But then the tree suddenly lifts itself up and clears the way, because, oh wait, it’s a gate. We pull up in front of a beautiful brick house painted purple with greenish-gold faded accents. The inside is astounding. Chairs and snakes hang from the ceiling in one room, tree branches and crows made of recycled tires from another. The house is entirely filled with art – by Margot, her grandmother, and incredible artists I would never dream of ever owning a piece from. Casts of Margot and her twin sister from Margot's art show sat in chairs at the dining room table veiled in white. A chocolate snowman dildo sat on the table in the foyer. Mannequins, nude women, neon, trees, birds… I was in heaven. We entered her grandmother’s closet (which is bigger than Marc’s, something I didn’t think was possible [and yes, that’s what she said] ) and Margot models for us the fake hunchback her grandmother likes to don under her clothes. She has incredibly ornate clothing, and my favorite -- a paper bag dress. We went into her bedroom and I came face to face with a Jeff Koons piece – his hot pornstar wife, of course. I saw some of his work at the Guggenheim years back. That man is ridiculous.

Then we got to see Margot’s workspace, some of her art, and photos from her opening. This woman is not just an incredible person, but an incredible artist. It was such a treat.

Margot treated us to a lovely Thai dinner and beer with friends that night. They were all such chill and lovely people. It was SO MUCH FUN. I loved every second of it. THANK YOU MARGOT!!! WE LOVE YOU!

Oh, and we also shot BB guns.

But yeah, we’re in New Orleans now.